I am having an identity crisis. This is the first September since I was three that I haven't been enrolled in school. I am ready for it. I am so ready to not be a student anymore. And as I sit all day in my bedroom watching old shows of Veronica Mars, I realize my only friends are the little girls on the street. Lauren is my bestie because she is only four and doesn't have to go to school. Lauren, Ziggy (the pug) and I sit on the front step talking about dum dums and imaginary boyfriends. It is during these times that I miss my former life, the life I was so ready to leave behind. I had defined myself by my activities and networks and classes. By my last year at BYU, I was a known person. Provo was fun and exciting and I had friends. And now I trade it for my parent's basement in highland utah. But of course,
it's only temporary...
I'm in transition...
i'm trying to figure somethings out
But do you want to know the truth? I can't find a job. In my defense, in this past month I have been to Lake Powell, San Fransisco, Boston and Portland. Yet, I struggle with detaching my identity from my occupation. Which at the moment consists of rereading Ella Enchanted and indexing. But this was to be expected
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Deep Breaths
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Oh man. I SO understand this. Which is why I am now back in grad school, because I wasn't ready to handle it. :)
It will be okay. Let me know if you need someone with some major empathy up her sleeve (because I can offer that even if my ultimate solution was denial).
Sydney. I miss you. And I feel so sad about not going back to school, and I miss provo so much. It's strange. Kind of expected maybe. Either way, I wish we were back at BYU together in an Anthropology class (just minus the papers, test, homework).
I have an identity crisis every day because I come to a job that is not what I had planned and is not necessarily what I want to be doing. It's weird. But you're great.
youre my favorite blog to read.
Come to Ecuador and help orphans. That was my (temporary) solution!
Maybe life as a whole is one long identity crisis. That's how I feel sometimes. Thank you for visiting me in Portland!
you went to portland last month? uh- huh...
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