Thursday, December 31, 2009

Obsessions of 2009

How does one describe a year or access the impact of one year, one year of my life?  But it all seems so present and organic that it is hard to classify a year.  I graduated, had an internship, got a real job, finished my first knitting project, bought a car and went yurting. Seems like an eventful year.  

Here is a list of obessions I have had during the year 2009.

1. Andrew Bird .  Early on last year, his album 'Noble Beast' came out.  I listened to it non stop.  And I still listen to it pretty often but my obsession has subsided.  And I don't really understand the lyrics all that much but i feel like if I did then somehow it would be about me. And during 2009, I saw him in concert and he was everything I wanted and more.  A man with a violin and a voice, what more could you ask for.  My fav is 'tenuousness'.

2. Making a meaningful impact.  As I was getting ready to end my undergraduate I was exploring what I could do with this time in my life.   And all I really want to do is make a difference that is positive and meaningful.  

3. HIV/AIDS. In August, I started volunteering with Utah Aids Foundation and now I have shifted to the Utah Department of Health volunteering with the HIV/AIDS prevention program.  I have read test result, swabbed people's mouth, pricked their fingers and made STD spreadsheets.  I have learned a lot about sexually transmitted diseases since then  and I plan on learning even more this coming 2010.  

4.  Cooking.  Now that I live at my parent's house I have been able to cook all the things I never had the time or energy to cook when I was in college.  Like this awesome creamy rice and shrimp recipe and endless amounts of cookie dough.  

5.  Birthing.  I know I have mentioned it before, but I think it is amazing that women can produce little creatures.  Our bodies are amazing!

6.  Writing Resumes.  I spent a good portion of 2009 writing and rewriting resumes. And not just my own but other people's.   And a lot of time it does feel like you have to display every single good quality you have or else the potential employer will never see how awesome you are.  Rock on for kick butt resumes.

7.  Nepal.  Nepal was epic and it continues to come to me in my daydreams.  And every once in a while I am reminded that I was in a commercial in Nepal.  Viva Nepal!

8.  Not taking the Graduate Record Exam. I have intentions to go to grad school someday soon, maybe in like three years.  And I hear that it is best to take it while you are in school or right after.  Something about studying being easier.  In my last semester of college I had plans to take the test and then I rescheduled it like two time and then I just dropped it.  And I have had this book sitting on my night stand for about five months and it is the last thing I want to do.  I can't even express to you how much I do not want to study for this test.    Ugh.  

Saturday, December 26, 2009

This is my Christmas Post

It sucks not having two whole weeks off for Christmas Break. What is this being an adult crap? Nothing is free anymore.  I had to work on Christmas Eve and for a little bit on Christmas day.  Having said that, I have been having a fantastic holiday break (without the  break part).

1. Last weekend I went up to East Canyon State Park and stayed overnight in a yurt.  Which was awesome and also very posh.  Inside the yurt there was a fireplace and beds and electricity.  So it was kind of like a hotel room in a yurt... without the bathroom.  But the bathroom was only just outside.  In the morning we went snowshoeing and wandered around the frozen lake in our snowshoes (not the best idea).  I loved reconnecting with dear friends, talking about real things and remembering that there are people in the world that get you.  

Inside the Yurt.  So so cozy
2. I went sledding with Sam, Mallory, Ziggy and the rents.  How beautiful it seems to live in a place where a sledding hill is just down the street from your house.  My reality has shifted so much from even 3 years ago where we spent Christmas in our house in Arizona where we could eat dinner outside and watched snow falling on the television.  

3.  Working on Christmas.  Didn't I just say I hated this?  For about two months I have been worried about what Christmas morning would be like for families in the shelter and feeling like it was up to me to make sure that the residents would forget that they were homeless, if only for this one day.  There was a lot of joy that morning and I am so relieved and excited that the morning and evening was a success and even more that I could be a part of it.  And glad that it is over.

4.  Being with my family has been pretty rockin.  Today, Paul and I went snowboarding at Canyon's and it was majestic.  Even though I got a bloody nose, there were worse things that could have happened.  

Stayed tuned for Obsessions of 2009... it's going to be epic

Monday, December 14, 2009

Stuffing and family pictures

Thanksgiving was awesome, awesome, awesome. My family finally took new family pictures. I am not hesitant to show off pictures of my gorgeous family but my mom is freaked out that they are going to be used on faulty weight loss ads and then our pictures will be on at least 100 hundred different web pages. So if you plan on doing that, maybe choose a different family.
My sister and I discovered that we dyed out hair the same exact color. Which makes us look like twins... or just sisters. The boy standing next to her in the brown is my soon to be brother-in-law, Zach. He is hip, well read, and dresses like Will from Glee which makes him nothing like us, but we welcome him and his matching socks!
This picture is the best. My dad, brothers and Zach frolicking in the field with Ziggy soaring through the grass. Sam looks interesting, doesn't he? My question is... what kind of company could use this picture for an ad?

Peace out

Saturday, November 21, 2009


I am hesitant to share my opinion because I know that I am offending a lot of my friends.  But one day we will have to wake up and face the music. 

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Happy Birthday Sam!

My parent left town and left me to be the guardian and care taker of my dog.  He is cute flat faced pug but also very needy.  He has to be touching a person at all times.  Rarely does my mood every match his.  It's weird, it's like I am never in the mood to run around the house like a crazy person.  Where has all my energy gone?  Sometimes, I look at the my little kid friends and become jealous of their stamina.  The other day, Kaliegh ran circles around me for ten minutes saying, 'can we do it now, can we do it now...'  How can she do it that?   I want that!

Today is Sam's birthday!  He is 26 years old!  What what!  When he got back from his mission, he started school at BYU.  We practically started at the same time.  And for awhile, before my parents made the exodus to the lovely deseret, he was all I had.  It seemed like, as the youngest child, I was always wanting to grow up so that my siblings could see me as a competent, intelligent peer.  Finally, I had been given this chance to prove to Sam that I was just like him.  Once i got over this complex of mine, I learned to appreciate everything that Sam was and is and I enjoyed so much, watching him grow up and find the woman of his dreams.  And while I am happy for him that he has a job and lives in Oregon with Lizzy-baby, I miss him and wish he were here to laugh with and give me advice.  Is this public enough? Happy Birhday big brother!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Karaoke 24/7

My coworkers take a very liberal amount of smoking breaks and i feel myself being left out. It's like that episode of The Office where Dwight moves the water fountain-thing to his desk so he could hear the work gossip. But I was thinking that if my coworkers took karaoke breaks instead, I would join them. But alas, they didn't think I was serious. Maybe in the next life or maybe in Japan.

Today, my Dad showed me the stun gun he bought me. He is afraid for the safety of his youngest daughter. The streets of Salt Lake can be a beast. Look out world. I have a stun gun

Saturday, October 10, 2009


My friend, Ramita, brought the dvd of my Nepali commercial to america.

Here it is.... the moment you have been waiting for...

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Just stop and shake it up

A week ago, I sang karaoke for an hour and a half by myself. I need to make myself perfectly clear when i say I love karaoke.

I can do things for myself and by myself. I can go to the store by myself and I can take my lunch breaks by myself. Last night, I went to a Blitzen Trapper concert all by my lonesome. It wasn't the first time. When I was sixteen I went to the Fiesta Mall to watch Avril Lavigne. There. I did it. Skeleton out of the closet. The thing is... I really needed to see Blitzen Trapper and I was sure I could get someone to go with me, but that didn't happen. I work like a block away from the venue and i got off of work just as the concert was starting. All the cards were in place. So I went. And Blitzen Trapper was amazing. Once they hit the stage it didn't matter that I was alone because there was this incredible amount of energy that wrapped me into the music and the perfromance.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Ridin Dirty

So I have been more than a little obsessed with Heroes for the past two months. Just two weeks ago there was the season premiere and I was all confused. But than I remembered that they do this to me every season premiere, they start somewhere in the future and work back. But this was too out of wack. So i did some digging and discovered that my season three was missing ten episodes! TEN EPISODES! what the? But with the help of my friend Chaela, I am rectifying that situation and am well on my way to being caught up.


But today, I got a job. I am now the volunteer coordinator at The Road Home's Emergency Winter Homeless Shelter. So I am your hook up to volunteering. I can even begin to tell you how lucky and blessed I feel. Two months of waiting and watching heroes and my first professional job has finally come! I am ecstatic.

Also, to top of the day I bought a car. I am now a proud owner of a 2000 dodge stratus. Some of you who know me may be shocked because I have expressed my wishes on never owning a car. I thought this day wouldn't come until I had at least four kids, but curse Utah and it's fault transport system. But now I have a car. My first car. And I bought it. With my own money. Eat that.
Now for a name. I am taking suggestions...

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Deep Breaths

I am having an identity crisis. This is the first September since I was three that I haven't been enrolled in school. I am ready for it. I am so ready to not be a student anymore. And as I sit all day in my bedroom watching old shows of Veronica Mars, I realize my only friends are the little girls on the street. Lauren is my bestie because she is only four and doesn't have to go to school. Lauren, Ziggy (the pug) and I sit on the front step talking about dum dums and imaginary boyfriends. It is during these times that I miss my former life, the life I was so ready to leave behind. I had defined myself by my activities and networks and classes. By my last year at BYU, I was a known person. Provo was fun and exciting and I had friends. And now I trade it for my parent's basement in highland utah. But of course,
it's only temporary...
I'm in transition...
i'm trying to figure somethings out
But do you want to know the truth? I can't find a job. In my defense, in this past month I have been to Lake Powell, San Fransisco, Boston and Portland. Yet, I struggle with detaching my identity from my occupation. Which at the moment consists of rereading Ella Enchanted and indexing. But this was to be expected

Thursday, August 27, 2009


I love fishing. There is magic in fishing. I love how there is no real tactic, you just throw your line in and putt putt around the lake. There is no competition or stealth, just patience. I have anxiety when it comes to sports or games that take a lot of skill, like wakeboarding. I'll do it because I'm on the boat but it hurts to try to do cool things and it's not part of my genetic makeup to case the knuckle while clearing it (what?). I can do fishing. I am down with that.
This is literally the one that got away, but I have proof! The chain we attached him to was faulty. I hope he lives a good life.
action shot of my dad catching a feisty one.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

I heart Nepal

The picture below is of the bagmati river in kathmandu. When my family lived in Hong Kong, we went to Nepal for a ten day vacation. We hiked the himalayas and then came to Kathmandu to do some site seeing. I remember very little about the site seeing but this river is seered into my memory. It is on these ghats that cremations are performed for the dead. My pre-teen self had never been that close to death and at this river it stares you in the face and seaps into your pours. With that in my memory, I finally visited the the river again. It was still eerie and abrasive, and the scenes of death rites were almost sublime in their rawness. Yet, there is something so captivating, I could avert my eyes from these dead bodies and their morning family. It is almost like trashy tv, where you know you shouldn't be this interest in watching but what are these people going to do next? (i loved myself some My Super Sweet 16).

And with that, I miss Nepal. I miss the raw intensity of living. I miss the struggle. Since being back, I haven't felt nasesua once. What is that?
Courtney and I are feeding twinsy baby elephant. CUTE!
I was trying to scare away the dog with my umbrella. it did not work.
I met my parents in Singapore on my way back, talk about a culture shock. And then the day after I got back i went to Lake Powell, so I only count myself for being back in the states for about a day. I need a job...

My sister Kali is engaged.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Life on the big screens

Sometimes you have experiences that let you know your alive. Earlier this week I starred in a Nepali commercial for tire sealant. I wore more make up than I have ever worn in my life and I learned how to ride a scooter. I tossed my hair, looked into the camera and sang (yes, it was a jingle) "you'll never stop." They needed a white face to endorse their American product and i was more than happy to play the part.

Courtney has joined me in Nepal for my last week. It has been good to have her here and see her experience Nepal for the first time. I almost remember what it was like for me. I remember the time I saw what was to be my bathroom and how I went up to my room and cried because the the spider webs above the toilet and the stagnant water looked insurmountable. Oh to be naive and full of fear.

For the past few days Courtney, Jeff and I went to the National Park in the sourthen part of Nepal. We spent two days river rafting, riding elephants, canoeing and playing cards. I saw rhinos, wild elephants, friendly wild boars (bill the boar jumped in the river to follow us, he loved us so much), bambi and friends, and peacocks. My favorite part was the part I got to bathe with the elephants. If the Nepali people wanted me to be in another commericial where bathing with elephants were envolved, like you know for elephant soap, I would.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

I'm gonna free fall, out into nothin

So I jumped off a bridge. The man said come here and then put a harness on me. Then he was like, 'oh yeah, just go under rope.' before I know it, i am on the edge of a platform that is is 160m (roughly 524 ft) above a rushing river. Then he said, 'ok, your going jump one. two. three.' And then i did, just because he counted. Well I feel for 7 seconds and then the rope swung me. You see, it is the world's highest canyon swing. so it much like bungy jumping but different.
After this small conquering of fears, i went repelling down waterfalls in the middle of Himalayas!

Then when I was back in Kathmandu I rocked the local karaoke night at the local bar with some "Ironic" by Alanis. That was probably one of the best days in Nepal. Also, a mysterious stranger bought me a drink (a mocktail) because of my amazing karaoke skills and that has never happened to me. You see, we don't have very many bars in Provo, so mysterious strangers haven't had much of a chance. And let me tell you one other thing, I love karaoke. It may be up there with my passion for baby goats.

I leave Nepal in just over one week and I have a twelve hour layover in Tokyo during the middle of days. I open for any and all recommendations for how to spend those twelve hours, even if you are the mysterious stranger that reads my blog in India (i love google analytics).

Monday, July 13, 2009

Food for thought

Today I had some masala dosai with chutney. It made my heart warm to think of south india and to be able to eat the food! I submit that there is no better food in the world than south Indian food. Even Nepali dal bhat does not rival. I sat across the table from a korean girl that had just come to Nepal a few days ago from India which she says was hot. She has done a fair amount of traveling. She has definately out traveled me in terms of the number of countries. I talked about India with such excitement she asked me I loved it so much. And here is my travel advice that isn't worth much. Most peolpe can come to Nepal for a week and have a splendid time. Nepal and India can decieve you, and you may think the two must be very similar. If you go to India for a week you will hate it. There is so much about India and one needs to explore and discover. I know no other land and people like it. I may not be a good judge because I have only been to 17 countries out of 270 countries.

But India isn't calling be just yet, but the memory of it gets sweeter and sweeter with distance.

I already miss these friends and they are only four hours away!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Baby Goats In Nepal

There are two very important things that I must mention:

1. Mariah Carey's "always be my baby" should never be remade or performed as a cover. Not only can you not compete but the only reason that song is good is because Mariah sings it.

2. Baby goats are adorable. In many instances they seem more cute than human babies.

I have been in Nepal for less than two months. I have been working with two different organizations. For one, I am assisting in their efforts to strength these youth telecenters. These are basically techonology centers that are run by youth but also serve a purpose in helping their community. Some are called Youth Managed Resource Center (YMRC). I just got back from going to two rural villages set outside of Gorkha. I hiked to these villages with three other friends, one being my translator and the other two representing Gorkha's YMRC. The hike was only four hours and I have heard of others that have to hike for two days, but I was always asking myself why anyone would live this far away. For the highschoolers to go to school they have to walk up a mountain both ways. Did you know that 85% of Nepal lives in the rural area of Nepal? So the hiking was a little difficult for me. I will admit that the last time I went hiking was the summer of 07. But I was wearing my chaco, shoes especially designed for exactly what I was doing. And here my Nepali friend were wearing cheap flip flops. On the way to Maskichap I feel four times! They just told me it was not my habit to walk in such a way. But even the last time i went hiking in 07 i fell all the time, and so I tried to convince them that it was just because of me that i kept falling not because i was American but that seemed too hard to believe.

For some reason it is always a big hit when I start to dance. Here is me dancing at a wedding that was just down the street. Yikes!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

I went to the year 2066, not much has changed but they live underwater

This blog goes out to my gal pal Cassi. She is out in the Pennsylvanian woods teaching young impressionable minds how to make rad books and how to transform large t-shirts into funky tops. She claims to always say 'we live in the future.' Her phrase continued to come to me as i would ask other nepalis when such and such happened and they would say 2064, or 2060. Currently, in the nepali calendar it is 2066 and i am becoming increasingly more convinced that we live in the future.

I just spent 4 days with youth leaders from around Nepal. These are leaders that work with technology centers, trying to help the community through technology. Youth is a very loose term and basically means anyone still relying on their parents so some of the youth were 28 and one was even 45. We had a good time talking about social capital and teaching others about facebook, blogs and wikis. I think even I don't realize how much technology impacts my life.

shout out to anyone who knows the origin of my blogpost title

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Mero naam

These kids are sooo cute. They stole the welcome tikka and put it on themselves!

So I received a Nepali name a couple of weeks ago and it is my favorite trick. I guess people don't expect me to know Nepali and I know close to nothing, but i can say my name is Fulmaya (love flower) and I am from Gorkha.
I know some people are wondering what I am doing in Nepal because before i had no answer and right now I am not ready to answer. It has been hard to be alone but I am growing and as my parents told me when I was younger, it is character building experience.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

A Nepali Swagat

In Gokha, I have been going to small villages a couple of hours away on foot. It is exciting to be trekking along the Himalayas with other Nepalis and talking about traditions. And I can’t help comparing all my experiences here with India. And in this time India is a sweet memory.

My purpose in these villages is still somewhat puzzling, but learning more about development than I could in a classroom. Twice I have been welcomed in to the village with a traditional Nepalese welcome, which includes flowers and pink powder that is smeared on my face by the women.

Today, I got attacked by a beggar. She urgently wanted money from only one person in the crowd and that lucky person was me. When at first I didn’t give way she began to push and punch and moan. I shielded myself with a group of people but she was determined. I then went inside a bus and sat down and she stretched herself across two people to jab me in the arm, several times. But before I was sad that I couldn’t give her money and then I became just as stubborn as she. My friends mother gave me two rupees to give to her, but she threw it back at me. She then changed gears and walked around the bus. She found herself a rock and threw it inside the bus through the open window. She was trying to kill me! Even when the window was closed she still continued to throw the rocks. And even when the bus began to drive away she chased after it!

picture next time?

I missed call you

There is a phenomenon among the people here that has to do with cell phones. I don’t doubt that some of you are familiar with this phenomenon. It is the missed call. Here in south east asia, most phones are pay-as-you-go. So when a young person’s balance is low, instead of calling their friend, they call let it ring one time and then hang up. They tell me that the friend is supposed to call back and they can chat, because it doesn’t cost any to receive a call. But most likely the friend also has a low balance. So they just miss call each other all day long. I ask them why they don’t just message each other, thinking that is what young people do so avidly in the United States but that also requires balance. So if you get a missed call from me, I was thinking about you…

The youth center here holding a program for high school students to come and compete. Luxmi was explaining this to me, saying it was a chase program. I asked her what chase was. She was so shocked and tried to explain to me that it was a computer game and you competed, but that was as far as her limited English would let her go. The next day in the office I inquired further to the nature of chase. The next clue I got was that there was elephants, and a prime minister and a princess. Mario? What the heck? So finally Pren took me upstairs to show me the game on the computer. Can you guess what common household game this was? Chess.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I wish I could truly give these mountains justice. I wish I could capture with my camera the supreme beauty of the Himalayas. Everytime I look up there are the mountains,so close to me and i stop to thank God for his marvelous creation, this earth.

For the past five days I have been with Ramita and Brittany running around Kathmandu Valley like we owned the place. I had the opportunity to spend today in a village called Sankhu with four very dynamic and innovative young adults. Part of my stay in Nepal is dedicated to supporting youth managed resource centers that are basically community technology centers run by the youth. These four young folk have been fighting against the elders of the community that want to shut them down and have shut them down in the past, but Sunni, Ramita, LP and David find ways to reopen and to continue to serve the community. They inspire me. But today they let share my knowledge about the english language, specifically the use of the word 'yet'. I may only know one language but I was able to use that skill to it's fullest, because later I edited content on a website and then taught an english course to eager fourth and fifth graders. Head, shoulders, knees and toes has never come so handy.

Tonight I got the best compliment, my host family told me that I eat just like a Nepali. You would thin eating with your hands was not a complicated matter, but there is a clear form and finally I have mastered it!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Anywhere you go in the world they know the movie Titanic

I lost my birthday somewhere between los angeles and Tokyo. I boarded the plane at noon on the 19th and arrived in Tokyo at four in the afternoon, the next day. My mind has been so preoccupied with the flight, I would have to continue to remind myself it was my birthday. I told the passenger next to me that it was my birthday. 22 seems so anticlimactic.

When we landed in Tokyo a herd of medical suit personal came on and questioned each person about their possible exposure to the pandemic commonly known as ‘swine flu’ or H1N1. Yes, I traveled to mexico, right into the heart of it all and I am fine!

I was in the Bangkok airport for eleven hours! AND btw Thai Airways is superior to all other airlines I have ever taken. Airplane food has never tasted so good. And they gave me a orchid boutiner as my parting gift. Who does that?

I was scared to land in Nepal. What if no one was there to pick me up? Do I really want to be doing this again? I looked out the window as the most majestic view. The Himalayas were in partial sight and I was breathless. Ten years ago I had gone trekking in Nepal with my family, I remembered the slaughted goats and the isolated tea shops, but I had forgotten these mountains. Accented with terraced rice patties and curvy roads, these mountains holds sublime qualities, they are so majestic in stature and poetic in beauty. Our plane touched the ground and I began to remember this sad little airport. It is so sad, it doesn’t even have a proper jet way and so dirty.

When I got out to the prepaid taxis and hotel salesman there was no one with my name card. Soon enough I had a flock of men trying to help me. I had to think fast. I got a prepaid taxi into the city, to a guest house that had been recommended to me. At this point, when I am in the taxi driving through the city, I am still asking myself if I really want to do this again. India was a hard place to be and isn’t Nepal going to be the same? But I smell the air, it is a mixture of burnt trash and marsala. I feel of rush of comfort come over and I am joyful. I excitedly talk to the man in the passenger seat who is trying to sell me a trekking package. He drops his pitch and we talk about his home town, the place I will be staying for the next three months. The conversation reassures me.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Sometimes when I listen to Sigur Ros songs I make up my own lyrics

I came to the recent discovery that I only have 4 GB left on my hard drive. In one summer I can take 4 GBs of pictures! My mother, for my birthday, got me a super cute and super small 500GB hard drive. Currently, I have 20 + GB of pictures and I can't seem to let them go over to external drive permanently. I love my pictures. And my external hard drive is easily accessible, but not as convenient. But clearly I have a hard time of letting things go, which is evident in the numerous boxes scattered in my bedroom in my parent's house. Who knows when I will need that cord that went to my camera that i don't have anymore? Someone, somewhere might need it!
So I wanted to share my pictures with the public, so you can partake of the love.
I'm sorry, but I was adorable when I was younger! That face!
AHHH! This is me in ninth grade. And even though this is painful to show to others, it is part of the healing process. BRACES+GROWING OUT BANGS+ CRUNCHY CURLS+NEW KID at SCHOOL= AWKWARD

And this is the boy that I had a crush on for so much of my high school, but it was unrequited. Also, I used to bake cakes! (what?) and I used to wear ribbons around my neck because i thought that was cool... not cool

This is Cameron. He was the first boy to ever hold my hand. We both had red hair! What more did I want? maybe a phone call
At one point in my life I used to be 'into' sports, specifically basketball (because boys also like basketball and I may or may have not been 15 years old and a bit boy crazy, in this picture i am at least 16) GO HAWKS! Since this picture, Amber and Stacie have both died (they got married).
This is my dear sister Mallory, during her second back surgery about four years ago. She is a really good and friendly person and it is hard to see her struggle. You rock, Mal!
This is during my freshmen summer with my awesome roommates Melodie and Chaela. We still rock and we still love each other. We are tan(ish) because that was the Summer of Love and no summer since will ever compare, and when it's the Summer of Love you get tan. Logical? of course

This was just last night. With Cassi and Louis, my good friends. Louis had missed his flight to Chile, so we saw Star Trek. I just need to say Spock is attractive (i feel weird saying that... rebecca, is that ok, will that compromise the assimilation tubules?) Used to be boy crazy? I don't think I have change much.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Awhile a go a boy said to me, 'i have a one tract mind that splits into seven directions.' Since then, his part in my life has been recasted and I write him off as a learning experience. Still, I cannot figure out what that statement means.

Recently, I was blog stalking. For awhile I became obsessed with blogs of girls I had known in high school that were married and expecting or had a child. I watched as they upload pictures of their son eating his first plate of mashed potatoes or the pictures of the new crib she got at her bridal shower. My friends, Steve, was right about blogs. Blogs that have pictures of babies always get a million comments. But I wondering if this obsession is linked to my new fascination with birthing stories. After a successful surf on the web, I found this website, which contained this website that has stories, with pictures, about birth. So it's graphic, beware. I particularlly am drawn into the stories about birthing centers and homebirths. The birth of a person is supposed to be a beautfil process. (kirsten, the hospitalization of childbirth in the 1930s). But this all comes from a book I read called Our Babies, Ourselves. It is about the biological and cultural implications of babies and raising them. Check it our my friends.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

yes, I currently reside at my parent's house

I realized yesterday (the day after I graduated) that I can now say things like 'back when I was in college...' or 'in college I used to always...', and then someone quickly reminds me that I am currently living in my parent's basement.

also, Nalgene bottle are truly indestructible. except to hate

Friday, April 17, 2009

Location, location, location

I know there was a lot of confusion in a previous post about the location of nepal. And after that incident and many other conversations, I started to question my ability to locate Nepal on a map. But the map below should clear up some questions...

View Larger Map

Ya'll are invited to my graduation par-tay at my rent's house in highland after commencement. I must say, I have been feeling a bit of an identity crisis. For eighteen years of my life I have been a student. As far as I can recall, my life has had a simple pattern: spend the summer playing/working/traveling and then when the fall comes around go back to school and try to balance a life of work, research, job, friends, clubs and hobbies. Now what? where do i go from here? how do I orient myself?

I thought of another letter i have been wanting to write:

Dear BYU,

For years I have been going to the Cougareat Courgar Express to bag my own candy. I have always seen the candy counter in the bookstore and seen the chocolate covered raisins for 2.99 a pound, and evertime I feel happy inside that the Courgar Express sells the raisins for 2.49 a pound. I believe i may be the only on campus that knows this discrepancy, and that gives me a sense of joy. You can imagine my feelings when I discovered the Courgar Express eliminated their candy station and subsequently the Candy Counter increased the price of chocolate covered raisins to 4.49 a pound. Are you kidding me? Where is the freaking justice? I'm done. If your going to have a monopololy on the market of chocolate covered raisins, then you are going to lose my business and my allegiance. So the Alumni Fund can stop calling me because we're through.



Thursday, April 9, 2009

Jk, from before

Remember when I said I was going to Malaysia to visit the vast rain forest and take picture of water, while assisting a women's empowerment group? Well I was just kidding. I am actually going to Nepal. Which, don't tell other people, I think is more awesome than Malaysia and I don't really know why I think that.

Sam and I graduating. We have this tradition in our family to make picture graduation announcements. Sam started it when he graduated from highschool. He stood with his cap and gown in the desert. When Mallory and I graduated we emulated him in our cap and gowns with our token cactus behind us (sadly, I cannot find that picture but there is the picture of Mallory and i kissing my dad which is uber cute). Then Paul graduated from ASU and continued the tradition but with a more stylized approach. Recently, Sam and I took graduation photos together, but there was no desert or cactus to be found... anywhere! What is the deal? So hopefully these will do.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Mr. Timberlake, I present Sexy People

This may be the the most profound blog I have every stumbled upon. It takes some scrolling to appreciate and I honestly think it is a generational thing. I shared this with some of my freshmen students. They didn't get it. I do hope you understand the beauty. This is a good taste if you don't have to the time to scroll.

Today I went to a workshop about social change. I feel, more than ever, that maybe I can actually do something worthwhile.

But what does it mean to 'change the world?'

Dear World,

Sometimes I tell myself that I am going to change you, because I do not like the current state you are in. You allow for women to be oppressed, children to be enslaved, and machines to trample on your skin, destroying the resources that allow us to live. I think it's time for you to take some accountability and think about your actions. Ready or not, here I come



P.S. really? you couldn't have done something about the weather?

... I walk with my cap and gown in four weeks. Finally a college graduate. I would say to any reader of my blog is thinking about doing college, it's really hard. I wish I had cared more about my GPA (but i still don't), grad schools would like me more if I had cared, but i had a lot of really good experiences that they will hopefully care more about. My two friends, Trent and Chelsea are getting married (not to each other) in arizona in the beginning of may and I haven't been there for a year and half. That is the longest since my family moved there back in '89. I hope to see all of my old friends like Amber, Keith, Chelsea, Zac, Shauna, and I wish Stacie. Leaving Arizona to go to Utah is one thing, but leaving Utah to go wherever means real seperation. After their weddings, I am going to be a bridesmaid for Kirsten's wedding in Portland. It is after that that I will be embarking on my post-graduation adventures like going to Malaysia to intern with a woman's organization through ProLiteracy. I know, right? Malaysia! I would say more about what I am going to be doing, but I honestly don't know. But I do know that my blog will be exciting again with pictures of the rain forest and water (what?). And then after that it's still a suprise to me.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Beauty and Posters

In case you were curious... a shout out to Chaela for her beautiful design

Monday, March 9, 2009

Hunger Feast 3000

I just had one of the biggest weeks of the academic career. I presented in the Inquiry Conference this past Friday. At 2:20pm in the Kennedy Center I stood up in front of a few of my peers and some of my professors and finally confessed about what I had been doing in India. It was exhilarating. I had taken a year's worth of preparation with classes, field work and post-field write up. Finally, I was presenting my research in front of audience that wanted to hear. I am positive that when I was a freshman, and I thought of my future as a college student, presenting at a conference was not on the agenda. In fact, the place I am in now is so different than i could have ever imagined.
Just ten minutes after my presentation I ran over to the Wilkinson Center to start the set up of Hunger Banquet. I could go into elaborate detail about both nights but most of all I want to say that it was amazing, it was more better than I could have expected. I realize the word 'amazing' is over used. I mean the Hunger Banquet made me feel like I could do good in the world. It reaffirmed to me that there are sick and starving people, my brothers and sisters, all over the world. I can sit in a classroom or sit and read a book and listen over and over to the awful statistic that one sixth of the world only function of one dollar a day. I am not shocked, but I don't feel good inside. It is like this... if i choose to sit one more day while the injustice of poverty and genocide ravage the earth, i will be held accountable for my inability to act. The Hunger Banquet empowers me and gives me hope. The monies that were raised on the Hunger Banquet are going to be distributed to organizations that are most effective in effecting a change that really matter, giving others freedom.

Post HB, I feel relieve, I feel grateful, but most of all I feel hope.

This is what the ballroom looked like before...

This is what looked like when filled with people

These are all the beautiful people that made it happen, we could not have done it without them
These are the two people I have been privileged to work with for my duration as SID c0-president. I love them.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I have a best friend

Her name is Chaela McDonald. She supports me in all of my doings. I think if each person could be a friend like her the world would be a better place. She is kind, thoughtful and truly concerned for me. We always have a good time. You should check her out at the Hunger Banquet this weekend. She will be the one eating something delicous looking like a tourist and probably stepping on you.

Saturday, February 28, 2009


Last year, I became really involved with the Hunger Banquet at BYU. The Hunger Banquet is this two-night event that attempts to display real-world global wealth disparity using food. So each guest is randomly assigned an income level and then seated an feed according to that income level. 60% of the guests will be seated on floor sharing a plate of rice and beans with five other people, and then only 10% will be seated at a table eating a three course meal. Along with being served food, or not, there is entertainment and a keynote speaker. It is an evening that provides, for a moment, a oppurtunity for others to suspend their privelages that they were born with and be born into something new. Paradigm shift, if you allow it to be. And what is most amazing is that this event is completely student run! After the Hunger Banquet last year, I became co-president of the club that sponsors it, Students for International Development. For the greater part of this semester, I have been intensley working on this year's hunger banquet, and it is going to be bigger than ever. This means that we will raise more funds for organizations around the world that are attempting to address the issues of poverty and hunger. I really believe in this event. I believe that organizations, now, more than ever, need the support of really good people. So I am using my blog as a shameless promotion for the Hunger Banquet. If these reasons aren't incentive enough, I am master of ceremonies and it would mean so much to me if you came (assuming you live in the provo/salt lake area).
March 6th & 7th in the Wilk Ballroom
Tickets sold at Wilk Info Desk $7 or $6 with college level textbook (to donate).
please, please, please come, it will change you.

In other events....

I am presenting my summer research from India at the Inquiry Conference this Friday, March 6th (yes, same day as the Hunger Banquet, don't even worry about it) at about 2:20pm in 238 of the HRCB. If you can come, I would love to show you what I did over the summer.

Also, I went to Washington D.C. a couple of weekends ago to visit George Washington as potential grad school and loved it! can't you tell in this picture how excited i am?